Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Day 23 Your inner being is calling...

I had a very entertaining day hanging on the mountain with my uncle Mike.
Mike lives in the Yukon, and is not my "real" uncle, but has known me since I was in diapers and is the closest thing I have to one; so the title is his. He is also one of the most fun, and unpredictable guys you''ll ever meet.

Mike showed up this morning on a snowboard.
An hour into the day he decided that a 20cm day of Whistlers finest snot was a good day to convert back to skiing after 15 years. His judgement might have been a little skewed by the fact that I make deep heavy coastal powder skiing look so damn easy... as it turns out, that wasn't so for him. I have the video footage to prove it.

I want to talk about inner guidance.
I want to talk about the idea that getting practiced at the law of attraction really means you have to dial up the volume of your inner guidance and dial down the volume on all of the well meaning voices in your outer vicinities, even the ones you go to for guidance, the even the ones who's voices you really trust. You must learn to filter those voices through the discernment of your inner being.
The calling of your highest guidance is coming from that voice even in the smallest of daily choices.

Two years ago yesterday I was texted by some guy I had exchanged an email or two with on plenty of fish. The night before he had also texted me and asked me to meet him for a drink. I blew him off... the next night, I almost did it again, opting to do laundry instead. A voice in my heart said "Adrienne, no exuses. He won't ask you again. Get your ass in the shower and go..." I did. It was Darren.

You might say given the circumstances that it was a mistake. But it was not. He and I were destined and my inner being knew  it. So did his. There are a string of random decisions that were made by both of us that led to that meeting. Our inner guidance, inuition and an aligning of the cosmos and then an instant recognition of being connected to one another. He said he knew when he saw my picture on my profile that I was "the one" ... I told him after four days that I had been waiting for him...and I felt as though I was teatering on the edge, ready to dive in whenever he gave the go ahead.

No matter what we have put each other through this past year, there is a purpose and I believe we aren't done yet, not even close. And only I can know that. No one outside looking in can.

 I feel very strongly that the most powerful thing I ever taught my son was to listen to his inner being even over my voice. The voice of reason and motherly good intentions. I wanted him to recognize that voice within him and I used every opportunity as he was becoming a pre-teen to do so.

 Even though we often feel within our right as a friend or family member or even as a loving mother, to assert authority, dole out advice, or judgement around a choice or situation;  no matter how logical, practical or justified one thinks they are life experience is mine, by divine right. I am the only one with direct access to my inner being. The only one.

Let's take my situation. There are the logical, surface, face value 3D realm aspects of this experience I am going through that could easily be judged in a myriad of ways by a myriad of people....lots of people have opinions. Well intentioned of course, about how I should feel, or what I should do or should have done differently and they have many rational justifications for their point. But only I know what's in my heart. What calling by my inner being brought me to this point.

Not every relationship or life experience warrants the kind of focus and attention I am giving this one. I believe in the this love I have for Darren and believe there is an opportunity of real soul healing, if we can cut through the ego; and only I know the risk or reward. Some things you know in your heart are in your reality because there is an opportunity for healing some aspect of your inner being that will change you forever. Only you know your truth of it. You may not know how you will reach your destination but somewhere in your soul you have decided to take the journey.

I have never heard of a miracle cancer survival story that goes like this... "the doctors told me I was going to die, and I believed them. I did exactly and only what they told me to do and a miracle occurred. My cancer disappeared"  No, but you do you hear this: "The doctors told me I was going to die, and I thought, fuck that! I got to work on listening to my inner being and asking how I can heal this body. I prayed, and I asked for guidance and the opinions of experts that had faith in my recovery, and I found remedy abc and xyz.  After an incredible and heroing journey of my soul and transformation of a lifetime was I able to heal my body and it was a miracle."
It's no different creating miracles in your financial, or emotional life, and no one can give you a diagnosis, prognosis or cure for what life conditions ail you, but you.

No no one can tell me when my love for someone is dead, or should be dead, or I should kick someone to the curb. Every dis-ease brings with it an opportunity for healing and transformation.  I am on a mission to become the most expanded version of me I can be. Even if that means walking through the depths of hell to get there. I am stubborn like that. I want the holy grail. I want to uncover the mysteries of life as they are parallel and reflected in my 3D experience. I am here to plumb the depths of my soul and see what I am made of.

Every personal relationship has something to teach us in varying degrees and just how far down the rabbit hole you want to go, and to what end you; only you and your inner being can know.
As for me, I am choosing to see the expanded view. The opportunity for transformation that is only possible when you are brave enough to see your self reflected in another. I let my inner being connect me to the inner being of another and all the ego washes away and I see from another vantage point,  all the hurt and blockages and fear, and also all of the well being that is available if we allow healing in. It's a choice whether to operate from fear or love.

And as for those well intentioned advice givers, naysayer and critics. Who do your opinions and judgements serve? Your inner being? The inner being of your loved ones? Or your own egos need to feel OK about a situation that you want to control, but doesn't belong to you anyway.

Parting words from Abraham-Hicks "You cannot get it wrong and you'll never get it done."

And my personal favorite "Go feather your own nest"

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