Saturday, March 2, 2013

Day 16 Leaving it on the mat, and other methods of allowing

It's incredible how one day, I am riding this awesome wave of manifesting $1500 worth of brand new boots and skis FOR FREE and then next, I am back to being a puddle on the floor.

Sometimes my heartache hits me so powerfully, all I can do is surrender to it... and by surrender, I mean quietly weeping all through my yoga class, slipping out the door and sobbing in my jeep for another half an hour and then home to cry my eyes out in the shower...Let me tell you I have given new meaning to the yogi phrase, "leave it all on the mat" I left it all on the mat, tears, snot and sweat.

And on that note, I want to impress the importants of understanding the receiving, or allowing aspects of attraction; because really that's where all of our attention should be. Asking is happening all the time, with every trail of snot and drop of tear I shed in yoga; I am asking for what I want, and its being answered every time. Our work, is to get into vibrational match with the manifestations of it.

 Believing, well that important too, but the reality is; if you have thought about it, then at some level you believe its possible. "what the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" - Napoleon Hill. The believing is the basically envisioning what is it you are asking for, seeing it in your minds eye, and most importantly feeling what it feels like to have it real and manifested. That's where things like vision boards, and playing games like "wouldn't it be nice if..." (and then fill in the blank of your wildest dream) come in handy.

Allowing is all together different; it really is an art. There are so many variables and things, and feelings and issues and dramas that get us out of alignment with our highest good and into resistance. And there are things, feelings, happenings and people that suck us right into alignment without our conscious awareness that's fun, and is evidence that its not that hard to do, if we look for excuses.

Take my situation for example. I want my relationship healed and transformed into a better version and I know its possible because I have seen it in my mind and felt it in my heart. I long to be sharing my love and my life and our new baby with the highest best version of man I love in the highest best version of our relationship. And I have that version all documented in a journal that I wrote before we ever met, so I know its true and done somewhere in my vibration. Easy poesy. The problem is my reality is reflecting a very different picture; which brings up all of these negative emotions that keep me out of my manifesting zone.

Thankfully there is an answer. All that is actually required for me to get back in the vicinity of what I want is a combination of my belief that it is so, and done, and my ability to ease the resistance of my now moment reality, which is not always so fun and certainly is not reflecting what I want.

The good news is, I am not required to make shit up, lie to myself, stuff my feelings down into a pit and pretend everything is groovy - as if the universe would believe it anyway, I just have to keep giving myself relief. If that means crying into my yoga mat for an hour, Imma gonna do it... If that means singing schlocky 70's love songs into a hair brush in my living room while my roomie and her boyfriend cringe, Imma gonna do it.

It also means; if the only way for me to get back into alignment with the relationship I want, is to take myself away from the situation and leave the one I love until I can realign enough to get into vibrational match to it ( and hope that it gives him a chance to realign ) then I was going to do that too. Sometimes you have to risk it all, let it all go and just trust that the universe has a better plan than I could ever conceive to bring me what I want. Knowing that it will all unfold in its own perfect time also gives me one less thing to worry about. {thats always good for alignment} And so it is.

There is nothing more important than that I feel good, even if good is just relief and relief means that I just surrender to feeling sad instead of fighting it, and so the relief feels better, and better ends up singing into her hairbrush, which actually is pretty fun, and soon I'm feeling pretty good... see how that works?

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