Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 1 Come to my seminar... you too, can have beautiful lady!



As I sit here at my computer and start the process of creating what I hope will be my very own personal development and creative process workshop for co-creating your life and manifesting everything you could ever want to be do or have; I could not be in a worse place. I am 6 months pregnant, broke and have lost everything I owned. I was forced to leave my home, and my 17 year old son with grandparents.  I have just left the 5th teary and pathetic voice message and at least 15th angry/teary/pathetic email in a the past week to the man I love, and father of my unborn child, who since Christmas, has completely stonewalled me.

Believe me, the irony is not lost on me. I am feel like a complete hypocrite, fraud and yet spirit continues to encourage me to write my story, authentically. As terrifying and vulnerable as this feels, I know there is a purpose to all of this.

How could this be happening to me? Back in 2009/10 I diligently, deliberately and consciously got so in the flow. I was visited by an Angel of light. I began dedicating myself to a daily practice of connecting to the divine, I deliberately dug deep into my psyche to find out what negative beliefs and blocks were holding me back, limiting my success, my abundance and healthy relationships. After just a few weeks, I began spontaneously manifesting opportunities that would never had appeared traditional methods. Manifestations of  money making opportunities, an amazing new apartment at an incredible deal, seemingly out of the blue and effortlessly. Simply by being me and listening to my emotions and inner guidance. People were just showing up in my life, bearing gifts.  I was killing it on the co-creation front.

I had completely transformed my life from stressed out adrenal fatigued on the brink of financial ruin to in-the-flow of abundance and complete trust in the universe, a real manifestation mama. And then, I met a family man, who I just knew was the one I had been waiting for. I let him sweep me right off my feet. We moved in together and even started working on a love child. I had a business that I had created, sold, and was even ready to start a new venture, that was in perfect alignment with my soul purpose and heart longing in personal and spiritual development. But now it was all unraveling.

So, WHO AM I to sit here, and plunk away at my keyboard, scripting a "how to" for overcoming negative beliefs and removing blocks, how to communicate with Angels and spirit guides so that you are working with, in order to become a powerful conscious and deliberate co-creator when I am standing in a train-wreck so fresh that the debris is still burning and there are bodies on the ground? Who would listen to me?

And the answer repeats itself to me relentlessly. How can I not? Who BETTER, than someone who has gained so much momentum in the art of co-creation, that her hair was on fire with the rate and speed she was co-creating. Who was so busy welcoming everything and everyone into her bright and shiny life she forgot that while many might be drawn to her light, not everything and everyone belonged there.

I forgot that its ok to take your foot off the gas and take in the view. I forgot to breathe, to lean back, to watch and wait. I began ignoring micro-signs that things were maybe not as they seemed, or certain un-namebles were not who I thought they were. In other words, that I forgot to keep an eye on my inner navigational system. Maybe, just maybe there are some teachable moments and take aways here.

Understanding Law of Attraction and how it works.
Asking: can look like many things : Things you want - causes you to ask for what you do ...
Believe : Anything is possible... wouldn't it be nice if...
Receive: This is what can really fuck us up.











No comments:

Post a Comment